“The 15th anniversary”
A brother remembered
Story by Winston
May 18 2013
Some of the memories that I have of spending time with our brother Don the year before his passing. When Don got the bad news about his type of cancer, and as he put it, “The Doctor just handed me a death sentence!” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard and I questioned him about it. Just about two weeks prior Don had told me that the Doctor gave him a clean bill of health, and he was looking forward to an early retirement!
Knowing Don and the kind of fighter that he was all of his life, he never took anything at face value and said to me, “I don’t have time for this Win, I have too much to do, I’m going to prove the doctor’s wrong and beat this disease one way or another!”
I believe that Don Thought this was entirely possible, and would give it everything he had and what ever needed to be done, and I’m sure in his mind it was by any means or stretch of the imagination an achievable goal.
Don said, “I don’t want to sit around thinking about this, I want to keep myself busy!” and then added,
“You can help by keeping me busy!”
He asked me if I needed any help and then offered to give me a hand to rebuild our back porch,
Our brother Don was also a practical person and went through all the treatment that was offered him, hopeful that he would beat the odds and survive this most terrible trial in his life.
In-between the times that Don spent in hospital for chemo, he had this incredible energy and just wanted to do as much as he possible could before his time ran out.
Linda and I went to see Don in the Riverside Hospital, and while we were visiting, Nurse Ratchet came into the room and asked Don, “Do you know where you are today Mr. Roy?”
Without a glance in her direction he answered, “The same place as yesterday, I’m in Renfrew!”
The Nurse looked very serious and made a note on the chart.
When she left the room I asked Don, “Why did you tell her you’re in Renfrew?”
Don answered, “They keep asking me the same stupid questions day after day!”
I said, “I think they want to see if you are aware of your surroundings, now they’ll think you are confused and adjust your treatment or meds.” Don answered, “I’ll feel better when I get the hell out of here!”
I went and talked to the Nurse and told her that Don was just pulling her leg, and he knew exactly where he is! She replied, “He is disoriented from all the treatment, I see this happen to them all the time!” I could see that the Nurse had made her diagnoses and didn’t want to change the chicken scratches on the chart, so I insisted that he was joking.
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I argued, “Well this time you are mistaken, I have been talking to him for an hour and his mind is very clear! My brother is just fed up with answering dumb questions.” The Nurse said, “I don’t have time for this I have a lot of sick patients to care for!”
And Nurse Ratchet went on to the next room to provide more of her excellent care.
After the chemo treatments were over for another session, Don would go home and carry on with living and doing things his way, it was hard to keep him down for any length of time; Don was always on the move.
From what I could see by the way Don was always on the go, it was difficult for me to think that he was sick, if anything I thought that he looked like he was getting better!
Don would be off to play a vigorous game of squash with his long time friend Pete; after a grueling game they would go to their favourite haunt and have a hearty breakfast.
One of the goals that Don had set for himself was to walk his daughter Carla down the aisle on her wedding day, and when the time came for Don to give his daughter Carla to Grant; our brother did it in style!
Don’s cancer was in remission and he looked the picture of health, he was taking on some small and not so small construction and painting jobs! This is what he wanted to do with his early retirement; Don wanted just enough work to keep him busy.
Right from the time when we were children I never knew Don to sit idle for any length of time! He was Mister on the go; Don always had somewhere that he had to be in a hurry!
His friend Pete called him ants in the pants.
The remission didn’t last too long and the cancer returned with a vengeance robbing our brother of all the youth and strength from him, at the end Don gave up the battle of his life! Our brother passed on May 18th in Nineteen Ninety-Eight.
The memories of the time that we spent with Don will forever have a special place in my heart; Don was one in a million! He will be forever missed but not forgotten by all that knew and loved him.
On this Victoria Day weekend as I have done for the past fifteen years since Don’s passing and once again I will search the night sky for a special shooting star just like the one that I saw on that night in Nineteen Ninety-Eight and in that spark of light I will see our brother Don once again.
Winston
